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What Are Attachment Styles?

And Why it Matters

Attachment styles are the early patterns we learn in childhood that shape how we connect, communicate, and feel safe in relationships. Think of them as your original blueprint for trust, closeness, and conflict—patterns that can influence every bond you form as an adult.

No one had a perfect childhood, and many of us carry emotional wounds that still show up in day-to-day interactions and intimacy. The good news: understanding your attachment style is the first step to change.

The Four Attachment Styles

  • Secure attachment

  • Avoidant attachment

  • Ambivalent/Anxious attachment

  • Disorganized attachment

Can Attachment Styles Change?

Yes. While you don’t choose your first style, attachment styles aren’t set in stone. We’re biologically wired to connect—and to heal. With awareness and practice, you can build healthier responses, increase self-worth, and move toward secure attachment, no matter where you’re starting.

Why Knowing Your Style Helps

  • Recognize (and even predict) your reactions under stress

  • Replace protective patterns with healthier behaviors

  • Improve communication, boundaries, and repair

  • Create safer, more secure relationships—starting with yourself.